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How to Understand, Manage, and Use Your Emotions

Do your emotions control you, or do you control them?

November 08, 20234 min read

Do your emotions control you, or do you control them? 

Emotional intelligence (EI), as popularized by Daniel Goleman, is the ability to use your emotions to achieve your goals. It's about being aware of how your emotions affect you and being able to manage them so that they work for you, not against you. 

In today's world, where we are constantly bombarded with stimuli that can trigger our emotions, it is more important than ever to have strong EI skills. People with high EI are better able to manage their stress, stay calm under pressure, and make sound decisions. They are also more likely to be successful in their personal and professional lives. 

Basically, EI is about being aware of how your emotions affect your thoughts and behaviors and being able to control them so that they don't get in the way of your goals. 

Think of an example of a manager who is self-aware and can recognize when they are feeling stressed or angry and takes steps to manage those emotions before they make a decision. 

EI is crucial in making sound business decisions. 

  • Stay calm under pressure. Being emotionally intelligent enables you to remain calm under pressure. When stressed or anxious, making good decisions becomes challenging, but emotional intelligence assists in staying composed and making rational choices. 

  • Consider the impact of your decisions on others.- When you possess emotional intelligence, you are more inclined to consider the impact of your decisions on those around you. This promotes fairness and consideration towards others. By recognizing the long-term repercussions of your choices, you can make decisions that benefit you, even if they are difficult in the short run. 

  • See the big picture. This can assist you in making choices that are beneficial to your overall goals, even if they may not be the most convenient solutions for the present moment. 

In the corporate world, emotional intelligence (EI) proves to be useful in various decision-making scenarios. For instance, during a deal negotiation, staying calm and composed is crucial, even if the other party is aggressive. 

Similarly, delivering a presentation requires projecting confidence and enthusiasm, irrespective of one's nervousness. 

When managing a team, it's crucial to comprehend and regulate team members' emotions to establish an optimistic and efficient work atmosphere.

But, how can you use your emotional intelligence to make decisions, rather than letting your emotions control you? 

Check this example of emotional intelligence at work: 

A manager is having a meeting with their team to discuss a recent project that went wrong. The manager is feeling frustrated and angry, but they take a few deep breaths to calm down before starting the meeting. They listen to each team member's perspective on what went wrong, and they are able to have a constructive conversation about how to improve the process in the future. 

In this example, the manager is able to use their emotional intelligence to manage their own emotions and have a productive conversation with their team. They are able to stay calm and focused, even though they are feeling frustrated. They are also able to listen to each team member's perspective and understand their point of view. This allows them to have a constructive conversation about how to improve the process in the future. 

If you want to improve your emotional intelligence at work, there are a few things you can do: 

  • Take some time to reflect on your own emotions. Pay attention to how you feel in different situations and what triggers your emotions. 

  • Practice self-management techniques. This could include things like deep breathing, meditation, or exercise. 

  • Be more mindful of the emotions of others. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective. 

  • Improve your communication skills. Be clear and concise in your communication, and be mindful of the tone of your messages. 

  • Be open to feedback. Ask for feedback from your colleagues and boss on how you can improve your emotional intelligence. 

By taking these steps, you can improve your emotional intelligence and become a more effective and successful employee. 

Emotions can be powerful, but you can learn to control them. It takes awareness, practice, and patience. Start by identifying your emotions. Then, develop strategies for managing them. 

Emotions are a natural part of being human, but they can sometimes be overwhelming.When this happens, it is important to remember that you are not your emotions. You canlearn to control them by being aware of them, practicing self-management techniques, andbeing patient with yourself.

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